I’m not looking for a job

erizo 2My name is Paloma, I’m ten years old, I live in Paris in a rich people’s apartment: my parents are rich, my family is rich, my sister and I are virtually rich. But, despite this, in spite of so much wealth,  I know a long time ago that the final destiny is the fish tank, a world where adults crash like flies against the same  piece of glass. The hedgehog, by Mona Achache

 I’m not looking for a job, I’m looking for a place in the world. A decent one that contributes to dignify someone else. Life is not worth itself, it’s just time coming by. Life is not worth unless we focus on something much bigger than us, on something that transcends us. Some of us understood this really soon, sometimes because of a positive experience, other, the most, because of a bitter and lonely and desolate one that makes you looking at the world in a different way. And there, with this strange gaze, you realize that only through your integration in the construction of other people’s lives you will be able to make life to mean something, in another way you would stop being involved in the chain of emotional and intellectual experiences that lead to processes of transformation. Transformation. Process. History.

I’m not looking for a job, I’m looking for a place in the world’s processes of transformation. I don’t want to be static or less I don’t want to contribute to the stillness. I don’t want shores or hamburgers without epicentre, without vortex. I don’t want to resign myself to boasting because of the books I had read in front of my friends’ children, I want to be an active part of their readings. I don’t want to tell my nephew and niece that  someday, in my college times, I was contemporary and creative, I want to create with them, I want to invite them to cross their barriers, their own edges, the limit of their era. I don’t want to transfer my fears, I want to be a mirror for those who search for taking risks.

I’m not looking for a job, I’m looking for a place where I can risk myself in favour of everyone, and that is the art, the poetry, the knowledge. Perhaps I haven’t got enough talent for being an artist –we’ll see-, but I’m sure that I do have talent for taking part, giving, gazing at every detail, encouraging, motivating, delighting, improving, understanding, identifying beauty, marginalizing what is important from what is not, looking after who and what I care about, for joy.

So I’m not looking for a job, I’m looking for my place. If nobody helps me, I’ll make it by myself, I started a long time ago, I only need to keep on.